South African Tertiary Education Cuckoon
Although endemic, the various Entitledus spp
in SA have become a plague of late, due to fertile breeding grounds opening up and a lack of predators with vertebrae. They are related to cuckoos, but live in a virtual cocoon of their own cerebral making, hence the new common name. The genus parasitises the habitats of the docile Hardworkingus Taxpayerus
, like some of the other animals on this thread, not feeding itself, but taking over already available resources, as the cuckoo does, while destroying any competition in its way. We shall concentrate on Guccicannnin
for the moment.Habitat
: The Tertiary Education Cuckoon infests dens known as Hallowed Halls of Leaning Backwards, rather isolated but very old areas that originally sprang up in pockets of fertile ground that later became overrun with Liver Lilies. TEC overnights in a sty called a "Residence", depending on its mood.Plumage
: TEC is a cameraman's dream, as it will always appear in its finest plumage, despite its avowed drab roots. It will not appear in bad light, as that would hide its rare range of accessories and glittering covering imitating its European contemporaries, hence the species name guccicannin
. It is normally collared/tagged, with equipment provided by the various smartphone, sunglass and waterbottle companies. Should TEC lose its smartphone collar, it would immediately revert to a dormant state.Habits
: Being a parasite, guccicannin
cannot function without the presence of various enabling species, besides the host. These include the Greater White-Chested Liberal Warblers (various Cluelus
spp.), the Overopiniated Media Vulture (Sensationalisticus Moreimportantthingscanwaitus
) and the Yellowbellied Grovelling Handwringer (Usefulidiotus Apologeticus
). Also often found in the company of this bird are opportunistic scavengers like the Common Criminal Sloth (Whatthehellus Nyaopus
), and the two Omnipresent Political Hyena species (Badloserus Metrous
and Underperformus Malemus
The TEC is diurnal in habit, normally surfacing after the effects of its nocturnal alcoholic intake have subsided (see Diet). It prowls its habitat uttering territorial screams to intimidate its prey and competition. This attracts the other species mentioned above, so feeding can begin. Guccicannin
only occurs in flocks of a few dozen up to 100 or so. It is entirely impotent and inconsequential on its own, relying on the "feeding frenzy" effect to achieve success, at least in its own mind. It is an extremely advanced bird, having mastered the art of using rocks, or bricks in built up areas, to dislodge its prey. The flocks can be alternately aggressive or extremely skittish, fleeing real or perceived threats with remarkable alacrity given their profound displays of dominance in the absence of said threats.
Upon being injured or sternly dealt with, Guccicannin will run to the Overopiniated Media Vulture uttering a series of subdued bleats, rising to a crescendo of indignant and outraged babbling, at times painful to the human ear. The distress call may best be transcribed as "Rubberhurtmeeee, rubberhurtmeeee...."
Upon successfully achieving a feeding frenzy and having its crop filled, it will select different random targets on an annual basis.Diet: Guccicannin
relies on a mixture of emotional and physical sustenance. It feeds on the gratification of destroying simple structures, and intimidating the young of Taxpayerus spp
, and adult Usefulidiotus Apologeticus
. It will not attack adult Taxpayerus spp
. Physically, TEC sustain themselves with alcoholic beverages, and have regularly been seen taking down South Africa's national bird, the Kentucky Fried Chicken.Enemies
: Predators include the Toothless Cooldrink Money Nyala (Hamstrungus Ineptus
). This is a nyala that has been utilised in urban areas to control the species, and is obviously more used to a vegetarian diet. Of late, most Ineptus
have lost their horns due to the marikana
virus, rendering them largely impotent.
Last edited by Richprins on Sat Jan 28, 2017 4:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.